THE LONELY SLAVE

It can’t lie. The choice to be his was a compelling but arduous one. He was a married man with a family and a business life that had him traveling most of the month. His homes in London, NYC, and out west didn’t leave us much time. He was clear on the terms and they weren’t easy. However, it just couldn’t resist. There was something between us that was undeniable. It wasn’t lust but adoration, maybe? A feeling that portrays a different way of emoting, behavior, and consequences. You aren’t quite operating in lust and limbic and you know that what seems rational is irrational to some. It was determined. We wouldn’t see each other often, he made sure of that. It lived through its overachieving deeds, always trying to get his attention. This is what an emotionally immature slave does. Knock, knock, Master, but he was rarely there. It had lived through the words and stories of others. These random words from others that were owned and cherished conveyed emotions that were so relatable, it was motivational to not give up on becoming wholly owned, wholly his.

A World of Vanilla with Vivid Kinky Tones.

In reality, loneliness was often the only emotion to conjure. Ever the optimist, it pushed itself further and deeper into tasks that would make its Master proud; a fast track to complete submission. It got its nipples pierced. It shaved its head to a 0. It went to swingers’ events almost every weekend. The irony was that its Master was not impressed. He wanted to hear all of the details though. It found a salve in playing with other Dominant men and occasionally, women. It preferred men. The way some Dominants knew how to wield the long, black leather pelts of a floger. The Japanese art of Shibari, and one Dominant’s majestic ability in creating his web of rope, but also his ability to leave it suspended in mid-air, sometimes with a vibrator between its moist thighs. Traveling across the country on an invitation from Stefanos to find its way as an extra on the Upper Floor. There are so many experiences and stories to tell. The longing to be overwhelmed, physically, sexually, and emotionally was the driver that kept it moving one step closer to being fully owned. He relished this idea that while he was in board meetings, his slut was well-fucked and being properly disciplined.

He was never far from his bespoke brand of emotional dominance and manipulation.

Emotional Bootcamp.

Its Master was intent on breaking it down and rebuilding it, just from far away. This is how it is done. It is never about the toys and the play, “the scenes” as we call them. No, this is beyond the pleasure and pain. You need to understand the psychology behind giving, receiving, and accepting. We forget about the acceptance part. What it feels like to give of yourself for no other reason than someone else’s pleasure and contentment, even if it feels uncomfortable or even hurts. Then what happens next? The way your partner holds that gift of pleasure and sacrifice. The way it evolves not just by itself, but the way we mold it. This is a healthy power exchange. I could only wish for that.

He could see through its motivation and took care not to give his slut too much attention. There would be scheduled check-ins, only when it was being “good.” It couldn’t show neediness. In the kink life, slaves can be needy. It is a weakness but that is merely just lack of emotional armor. Dominates understand this and the give and take. A slave dedicates its life and being to its Master without hesitation. This is why proper aftercare matters. The aftercare is the rebuilding of the breakdown that happens in the scenes and the interaction between a Dominant and Submissive. Break down and restore. A rejuvenation and reassurance of role and identity, which is at the core of power exchange. Roles that are defined in such precision. It thought if it was strong enough, after care didn’t matter. All of those times, in play with others, the mimicking of affection, when it just wanted Him. Why couldn’t it be his hand, his cock, his mouth?

Its friends hated its Master for his style and lack of aftercare. When that is missing or is so minimal, it can break your spirit. It will admit there were times it did. It can remember times, after some intense orgies, it would just breakdown and cry. Its body would actually physically reject sex. Then, it would focus and get ready for the next task.

Before you judge too harshly, he always knew when the isolation was too much, when it was time to check-in. While a great Master knows how to tap into its slaves emotions and needs, psychological warfare can bring unanticipated damage.