CHAPTER 2: BACK TO THE BEGINNING

I would be remiss if I didn’t share how I became it. Let me take you back to where it all began. 2012, an Anniversary party where I knew the company’s founders. I was wearing my black velvet Hollywould heels with the Swarovski crystals and the back seam stockings. Those stockings were his kryptonite, little did I know. He as much said so when he introduced himself. While I appreciated the Alpha in his approach and demeanor, I had no idea that this chance meeting would change the course of my life for the next five years.

The man who eventually became my Master, who introduced me to the world of power exchange, will never have a name. A pseudonym, other than the role he played in my life, just wouldn’t do him justice.

He drew me in very slowly. At first, it was friendly, exploring ways we could work together. At the time, I was working on my own for several marketing clients. He was invested in getting to know and understand me. There was heavy flirting but there were no lines crossed. He was a married man and I knew his business partners well. It didn’t take long before the moment that changed everything happened. Of course, at the time, it was just a moment in time between people with growing attraction. I could have never predicted the next 5 years.

The Kiss in the Taxi That Changed Everything.

It was a kiss that led to curiosity and questions of a sexual nature. A few months after we met, we became lovers. Lovers as equals. Over time, it became clear that his questions had a specific purpose. They were a guiding light to open my mind. These “innocently” put questions and statements that catalyzed a sexual awakening. He knew what he was doing. I was like a cat high on the nip.

My sexual awakening wasn’t losing my virginity at 15, it was happening the moment I felt his lips on mine in that cab. He was a brilliant manipulator. He knew how to titillate my brain. We were equals, but he lured me slowly down the path of power exchange. He saw further into me than I even saw into myself. I needed to please him.

Often his way of keeping me loyal and obedient was not allowing physical or sexual contact between us I was a blank canvas, wanting to experience it all, with no inhibitions. I realized the submissive in me was there all along, and he saw the purity of that and exploited it.

Setting the Table for Desire Unleashed.

It’s funny how some major moments in life are catalyzed by the most ordinary circumstances. He seduced me into a world he wanted to create for us. His ideal. A relationship built on the foundations of our most primal needs – desire, attention, service, and power. It never felt predatory. He understood me to my core and pressed on those needs with different degrees of strength.

When you hear stories of “normal” people getting caught up in cults, it’s not so strange to me. It is not that difficult to get caught up in the momentum when you are exposing your most vulnerable self. The dynamic energy that flows as these relationships form is seductive. You find yourself becoming an overachiever. The issues occur when there are no boundaries or controls put in place for the benefit of everyone. They shouldn’t be one-sided, but often they are. In my case, I don’t believe there was malicious intent but power is a heady drug. As we evolved, I wanted, no needed to give more, and that line is finer than you think.

I became it.