The Letter
I was going through my desk drawer the other day and found a letter from my ex-husband. It was a letter he wrote me when he made me my Hope Chest. His engagement gift to me. I love a man who can work with his hands. Our divorce was two decades ago but his words aged beautifully. Imagine an electrical engineer who can write like Shakespeare. There in my tiny Upper East Side bedroom, I was transported to that day. The exquisite hope chest he had hand carved that would hold our precious memories, as we embarked on a new life together filled with hope and promise. Twenty years late I sat reminiscing on some of the more random memories; the night before our wedding, making chocolate chip cookies for 200 wedding guests for the favors. We laughed at the amount of dough and chocolate chips. We were Lucy and Ricky in that moment.
The recognition of all that we had endured to get to the point when he got down on one knee with a ring he designed from my great-grandmother’s diamond. The “what ifs,” and “what could have been,” circled around my head like a giant thought bubble. He was strong and so smart. A rugby player. A poet who couldn’t spell to save his life. I married a man who was insatiably curious, deeply romantic, and loved and trusted me with every fiber of his being.
I need to remember that not because I have regrets but because romance matters, regardless of the relationship.
Love and Its Many Meanings. Every Rose Has Its Thorn.
The emotion is the catalyst for the behavior. However, its rarely that cut, dry or linear. I enjoy remembering that love and all the warmth and security it brought with it; feeling that love through memories while have no regrets about ending it.
That’s the funny thing about love in all of its malleability. You may go through life only having felt that power of deep enveloping, all-encompassing love for a brief time or not at all. However, who is to say that our choices should prohibit us from creating, feeling or understanding romance and the deep connection that is so significantly transcendent?
Love, Like Beauty, Is in the Eye of the Beholder.
Love, romance, to be cherished and yearned for exists everywhere. The action of empathy, not just the words. We start with ourselves and take the brave steps to extend to others in friendship, as neighbors. Its too easy to forget the positive intensity those emotions can bring. As a companion, I want my clients to feel that appreciation and adoration and I strive to get better in the personification of it.
If you feel awkward, try and try again. Don’t worry if someone doesn’t recognize it. We are more starved for it that we realize. I may not have the love adoring love from my husband anymore but I am open to the giving and receiving of love in all of its abundance.